growing pains

Birthdays come & go. We get older every day, true, but once a year we really feel it. When we're little this is exciting. We want to grow up so that we can finally understand all those "you'll understand when you're older" comments. Then we get older & most of the time we wish we didn't have to know.

This year was the first year I really got stressed or had negative feelings about growing older. When it comes down to it, I had just always seen myself at 26 with life a little more, well... settled. I saw myself with kids, I saw myself with direction and I certainly did not see myself crashing in my old bedroom at my mom's house, homeless and unemployed. I felt like a disappointment to myself for not having those dream-future-me things in my real life.

Then I took stock of what I do have. What I have accomplished. And more importantly, all the amazing things I am doing and want to do with my life! I may be crazy and spontaneous and have trouble looking past today sometimes, but I am proud of taking risks and experiencing new things. I never want to stop learning or loving or living!

My charming husband took me out to a delicious birthday dinner at a posh vegetarian/vegan restaurant on Madison for my birthday, and I found this quote in the bathroom. It seemed so perfect I just wanted to share it with you. It is exactly what I never ever want to feel.

If I had my life to live over by Nadine Stair

I'd dare to make more mistakes next time. I'd relax, I would limber up. I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.

You see, I'm one of those people who live sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I've had my moments, and if I had it to do over again, I'd have more of them. In fact, I'd try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. I've been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat and a parachute. If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have.

If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances. I would ride more merry-go-rounds. I would pick more daisies.

I never wear a raincoat. I eat entirely too much ice cream. I am barefoot more than most would find appropriate. And this twenty-six-year-old girl wouldn't have it any other way. :)