fear

so i/ve been, like, scared to do shit since being in france.

i mean, not totally. i/ve done a bunch of crap. but i felt sort of like i had lost my sense of adventure. then again, it is winter. meaning going hunting for waterfalls & on random excursions in the woods are not always super pleasurable or enticing.

almost like, i have been SO independent for the past few years, especially in taiwan & then with the whole getting to france even though i had no clue about anything, no real contacts (at least not anyone i had ever met), no idea what my job would entail, etc etc, that now i/m sick of it. like that episode of friends where rachel decides she wants to try to go out to eat alone for the first time ever & then likes it. but then there/s some guy who comes up to her & she realizes that it/s not so fun. i don/t know. i/m sick of eating lunch alone. but i/m not going to eat in the cafeteria with 3rd graders and all the other teachers are 40-yr old bitches. well, not all. but most.

however, i/m getting the itch. the run around get outside & adventure itch. & today i finally scratched. & it felt so. damn. good.



today, i went rock climbing & it was bitching. i should have done this years ago. & now i/m going to go socialize with some bitching irlandaises & their friends.


i rock, rock.