i woke from some rather sensual dreams (apparently i really really miss my hubby already) with a giant smile on my face that i just couldn't wipe off for most of the day. i felt fabulous. i felt confident. i felt strong and beautiful and capable of anything.
the very very first thing i did after waking up was to call one of the places i really would like to work to see if they had looked over my resume and if they were interested. surprisingly i was not nervous at all, my french came out like a dream and i found out the reason i haven't been called back yet is because the guy in charge of hiring hasn't been in but gets in tomorrow. splendid.
i ate breakfast in the sunshine through my kitchen window surrounded by the bajillion sprouting plants covering all surfaces of the room and was completely happy. i walked through the market then downtown to the library to return some books and decided that i've waited long enough. today was THE day to chop all my hair off.
and i did!!! this afternoon. and i was not afraid to tell them exactly what i wanted, even when i wasn't sure of the words, and i explained about locks of love and no one had ever heard of it before and there is no equivalent in france and they all seemed really impressed by it. i think it made the lady cutting my hair want to give me a really good haircut, too. she kept telling me "you're so courageous for doing this and for such a good cause!" hahah courageous to chop my hair off. i tried to explain i've wanted this for a while but i don't think they truly understood.
well she did a fantastic job and my shorter-than-shoulder-length hair is gorgeous!!! it suits me great. she even said she prefers me with short hair, which i take as a compliment because i damn well liked my long hair. the catch is rémy has ONLY ever known me with long hair. as is true with most of my friends, too. i mean, it's been, what... since my freshman year of college, so SIX years since i've had my hair short!! crazy. it feels fresh, it feels spring it feels right.
then there was trying to figure out if i can enter the masters program for teaching here in france. it seems ridiculously complicated but i'm confident i'll find a way.
and then i called grandpa and that's when my smile dropped. apparently he was really sick last night and didn't want to talk and that's not a good sign because he's going into surgery TOMORROW MORNING and if he's not feeling good and confident that can have a huge impact on the success of the operation. i'm really worried about him and wish i could be home and want to know what exactly happened last night and have been waiting for a call from my mother for about four hours now so i'm trying not to rip my hair out due to anxiety. not the best note to end the night on.
i just have to remember how amazing 95% of the day was and then worry about tomorrow tomorrow. it's going to be a hard and stressful one with the surgery and job stuff and no rémy to keep me calm, but i've invited my guys over to watch some arrested development and paint all afternoon so that should keep me distracted for the most part.
time for destress herbal tea, meditation and bed! i hope i sleep as well as i did last night!
...and here is the rest of it.
...and here is the rest of it.